alright. i expected the expected. In fact, i know it right after we 'hit-it' off. The feeling was there just for a moment. Lust, you may call it. Not love. When the first time she told me about 'it', i wasn't really paying much attention to what she said and took her approach as foolhardy. I did not give it much thought hoping that we could still be together after that but this time round, the truth has outshine the shadow casting over me. I supposed it may be due to our long chatting break as i was preparing for the major exams. Therefore we only contacted once in a blue moon to know each other's welfare and after that went missing in action for a few times. Maybe that was the period when the feeling for each other started to fade away. The cycle goes on. That may be the reason why we're not together. However, my feelings for her still has not fade till now but i respect her decision for me to let go of her and move on. I know it kinda hurt after waiting for close to a year and yet nothing takes place. Maybe i was taken a fool. Failure? i guess so. Or was it because i struck at a slower speed while the iron was hot. This was not what i was hoping for seriously. But history repeats itself once again. Right from the start i thought she would be the one cause im attracted to natural beauty and simply-dressed lady. That was the main reason why i wooed her. So to girls who applied make up, just show your true-self. Try your luck on me and see what'll happen. Natural beauty counts for me. Guys normally go for this 2 criteria. Now, situation has come to this. Does it still need HOPE to be friends again? Though the sms sent was short and sharp, i still have a lot to say but just too lazy to type. Cause its sms. She is one of the many fishes i hooked at the ocean cause she stood out from the rest of the fishes. Based on what i had mentioned above earlier on. During the period of close to 12 months, this fish has been out from water to see the world. I guess now its time for me to put her back in safely and let go of her (following her request) in the ocean to join her cliques and be reunited with them. I shall just leave my bait and fishing rod dangling on the railing and wait for it to see motion if there's any fish being hooked. Every little things happen for a reason but we may not know it. Only time will tell. I hope to catch a new fish soon or leave it as it is. If situation changes and the feelings from her re-appears, that would be the best gift. Still waiting for the right time. I truly hope the feeling would reignites in you and hope to be together.
This is what i got to say. To you, thanks for all the wonderful memories, outings we both had. It is indeed very meaningful cause the reason is i never once fall deep in love before like how i had fallen for you. Seriously. The first time experiencing it. This isnt sweet talks or honeywords made up. It is genuine, authentic. I never had this kind of excitement before when meeting upclose with a lady. Perhaps it goes to show that you are the ideal one. But there is little i could do since you want to 'depart'. Once again i respect your decision. There is no hope invloved to be friends again. We will be friends until the time is ripe and hopefully climb a step higher. Through this, i have learnt in depth the meaning of 'failure'. There is no need to be embarassed. Its part and parcel of life. Different race issue means nothing as long as we beat one heart, together always. Till then, i shall leave the bait there and wait for 'it' to re-appear. Thank you. Do give it a penny for a thought.
Warm regards
Haaziq
ok, i admit this post is somehow emo cause im feeling dejected? yea. So enough of my rantings. Till then, await for a new post.
*i have changed back to this song as the animation and lyrics suit this post pretty well.
changing the course of my life
into something special...